Alone Together
by phoenix-mt
Summary: Continuation on 3.09 Homecoming...Only 3 weeks left people. Can't wait. But as for this story and it's already beloved readers: Delena is having some moments...enjoy ;
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just my own 'naughty' thouhgts ;)**

**This is my first fanfic I'm publishing that's not written in my own language. So pleeeease be gentle with me. I'll try to find a Beta ASAP. Hope you can still enjoy despite some grammar issues...**

**Breaking Walls**

„Hey, Damon...hey!" Elena shouted, trying to get a hold on Damon's arm. But he pulled himself out of her grasp harshly. "Hey, listen to me!" She said again. Grabbing his face with both her hands forcing him to turn around and look at her. "We'll survive this!" She said looking him deep in the eyes trying to make him understand. "We always survive!"

He stared back at her. Unable to hide the raw pain showing in his features for sure. Everything had gotten out of hand...everything had went wrong. "Trust me!" she added then looking for any sign of him believing that she meant it.

Damon shook his head lightly. His forehead wrinkled in thought. "We'll never get Stefan back. You know that, don't you?" he asked her then. Looking at her as though he didn't want to hear the answer. _It'll always be Stefan _her words echoing in his head. Of course she wouldn't give up on him. Never. She wouldn't...

"Then we'll let him go...okay?" her answer putting a hold to his thoughts. "We'll have to let him go!" she repeated. Stressing the meaning of it. His eyes searched hers. Looking for any sign of her not being honest. Wanting to know if she really meant it. Her eyes never leaving his as he slowly nodded his head in understanding. Realizing that she was serious. Her hands still rested on his face. Both suddenly aware of how close they stood. Tension building up. His eyes darting to her lips and back to those dark, brown orbs. But before either one of them could do something, a vibrating sound ripped through the silence.

Elena let go of him instantly. Feeling as being slapped by the sudden intrusion of their intimate moment. Damon's expression twisted in anger as he picked up his phone.

"Not interested in the play by play of our failure right now Katherine!" Damon answered cold, after he'd recognized the number.

Elena turned away from him. Desperately trying to ignore the emptiness that she'd felt the second she'd let go of him. She was barely listening to what Damon said. Too absorbed in her own dark thoughts about the previews events.

Did she really believe she could let Stefan go? After everything they'd been through together, did she really believe that he was gone? For good this time? How could she do this to him? _No wait._ She thought to herself._ I didn't do anything_. He was the one who had left. For the third time, she reminded herself. This wasn't her fault nor Damon's. They had not let him down. He did. It had been his choice and she would accept it. Yeah...she _would _let him go. In fact, she wondered if she hadn't done it already. Only realizing it now.

"Take care of yourself Katherine!" she heard Damon say. Turning back to him her face was full of concern. She searched his features. Desperately trying to read his thoughts. But he wouldn't let her. Instead he just looked at her blank. Not saying any thing, he hung his head and turned around. Leaving her starring after him in confusion.

Elena had crossed her arms watching him leave. Unable to move. She wanted to tell him that everything would be okay. She wanted him to believe her. To trust her. Just like she trusted him. It pained her seeing him like this. Broken. Hurt over the fact that his brother had betrayed them.

Hurt, knowing that Katherine had left him for good this time. Even if he'd never admit it, Elena knew that deep down he still cared about her. She turned her head, watching the flames trying to figure out what to do next. A big hole started to build inside her. Dark and cold. A shiver went through her and she felt a lump forming in her throat. She swallowed hard. Taking in a deep breath, fighting back the panic starting to overwhelm her. She wouldn't break down. Not now. She couldn't. He needed her. She couldn't leave him too. She wouldn't do that to him.

And that was when something cracked inside her. A wall that she hadn't been aware of being there. A wall in attempt to keep something hidden. Built by her own fear to give in. Held strong by the guilt that had ridden her whenever she had thought of _him _in a way she wasn't supposed to. Her eyes widened as the realization hit her...hard. Caroline had been right. Tyler had been right. Ric, Jeremy, Rose...Katherine...even Stefan. They all knew. Except for her. No, she'd known too, she just hadn't allowed herself too. But there was no need to deny it anymore. In fact it was selfish of her to ignore it. At this moment he needed her more then ever. He was alone and hurt. The people he'd cared about most had left him. "No!" she said out loud. "No, I did not!" and with that said into the silence of the room, she turned around and headed for the staircase. Getting more confident with every step. Knowing exactly what she needed to do next.

When she reached the door to Damon's room she nervously smoothed out her shirt and put her hair out of her face, behind her ears. She then took another deep breath in attempt to prepare herself for what she was about to do.

With one last calming stroke on her clothes she lifted her hand and knocked.

**This is it for now! What do you think? Should I continue..;). I just wanted so desperately to continue where the show left us waiting...I hope it's not too hard to read, since english isn't my first language.**

**Please review ! and leave me your thoughts...and don't be to cruel about my possible language issues ;)**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you guys for leaving such nice reviews. I just finished writing, cause I just had to share my thoughts. I really hope you like it. Thanks for you're supports...So enjoy!  
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**Failing and Farewell**

**Damon's POV**

_...Why? Why? Why?..._ Damon's thoughts echoed repeatedly. He couldn't stop himself thinking about a reason to Stefan's actions. But even after a full bottle of his best Scotch to numb out his turmoiled emotions he came up blank. He figured it'd be best to take a shower, drink some more to finally be able to sleep and face the raging thoughts again tomorrow. ..._Best to stop thinking at all for tonight..._

He discarded his clothes on the floor and stepped under the still cold spray of his shower.

_...We'll always survive...trust me..._ "Ungh." Damon made a grunting sound to this new wave of disturbing thoughts that hit him. Why had the fact that she told him to let go of his brother such an affect on him? ..._Well isn't it obvious you drunk, pathetic idiot?..._

He sighed and grabbed the bottle with shampoo to wash his hair. He wouldn't give in to these thoughts, not now. Not now that he knew she'd be still in this house somewhere. Or was she? _Probably not..._ he decided. Rinsing out his hair he wondered where she'd go after he'd left her in the parlor. Maybe it had been rude to leave her like said. But he'd been so exhausted after everything and the short but disappointing conversation with Katherine had given him the rest. He couldn't handle Elena giving him another 'I-care-about-you-we'll-get-through-this' speech. She would be home by now. In despite of his rudeness it had been a long day for her too. She wouldn't want to stay. She'd want to get some rest herself.

_[Flashback:"Trust me" Elena's voice sounded stern] "_Uch" _...here we go again_... he thought bitterly. He remembered him starring into her eyes. Those wonderful, brown, caring, heartwarming eyes. Every inch of his body had been desperately screaming for him to just hold her. Taking her in his arms in search of comfort. He could still feel where her hands had touched him, burned him, scared him some more. He knew he couldn't show her how much he needed her right now though. He wouldn't break. Not now. She needed him strong. After everything she needed him steady as a rock in the ocean. He wouldn't fail her. _He _wouldn't let her down. Not intentionally, not ever again. He wouldn't leave her alone in the dark that was her life now. Her life because of him his mind went against him once more. Because of his actions. His self-serving, ruthless decisions that had let them here. He shook his head, desperate to get rid of those morbid thoughts, one hand in his hair to rinse out the last bubbles of soap.

He stepped out of under the spray and turned off the water. Grabbing a big, white towel, slinging it around his hips, he continued to walk into his bedroom. He was just about to pour himself another drink when he heard it. A knock on his door. If it wasn't for his Vampire hearing he surely would've missed it, as it was light as a feathers stroke. But then it knocked for a second time. Louder, more urgent. "Come in!" he said lifting the full glass to his lips as he waited for the person on the other side.

**Elena's POV**

"Come in!"

As soon as Elena heard his voice she slowly opened the door. The second her eyes took a hold on him, her heart skipped a beat. He was dripping wet from an obviously not too long ago shower. He had a towel around his lower half and his hair was a wet mess clinging in strands around his face and neck. He was gorgeous. The sight of him leaving her speechless for the moment.

"I thought you went home!" it wasn't a question more a statement. Somehow he sounded irritated or tense even. _Of course he's tense. It's been a rough night. For both of us._ Elena thought and tried to put her mind to focus. Which she found rather hard since he was still looking like a young god with his towel hanging low _Very low _on his hips. Water droplets running down his perfect built chest, defining the strong muscles under the smooth skin. ..._How it would be to just touch him?..._ She wondered for a brief second_._ ...O_h stop it!Focus theres something more important you came up here... _She argued with herself. She could not let her guard down. Not tonight. Not when they both needed to be strong and focused. Not when Klaus was still out there.

Not when... "Care to share what's on your mind?" Damon's voice cut off her thoughts. Elena realized that she had been standing in the doorway, just staring. She straitened and looked down for a moment trying to find the right words. It was somehow very difficult to do so while he looked like a sexy supermodel with that damp hair and those defined hipbones. _A half naked Supermodel that is very much in love with you and probably wouldn't mind if you just got over there and... _She took a deep breath. She always felt like she was loosing it whenever she was near him. Damon must've caught that too considering his next sentence and the mockery tone to it. "No need to be shy about it. I know I'm hot. Considering me half naked and all. Still I'm very flattered that you've noticed. But since I know you're mind-troubling tendencies, I am almost sure that's not what you here for. Seeing me naked?" He paused for a brief second before adding with a wicked grin "Again!" Her eyes snapped back at his, just in time to catch his eye-thing that was always so...well...Damon. She felt herself blushing and tried to regain her composure. She shook her head lightly and smiled a little. She couldn't bring herself to lecturing him, knowing that this was all part of his defensive mode to distract her from seeing how miserable he was really.

"No it's not." She answered slowly, never taking her eyes from his. "I..." Damn she had thought of it so well but now that she was standing here she lost the words she had thought of saying. "I just thought you shouldn't be alone right now. Maybe none of us should." She finished quietly, fiddling nervously a strand of her hair. She watched him carefully waiting for him to respond.

"Well I don't now about you. But it's been a long night Elena. You should probably go to sleep. That's definitely something we both need. I am fine. Don't worry!" He answered leaning casually against one of his bedposts. His voice was light but Elena new him to well by now. The dark shadow in his eyes betrayed him. She could see the storm in those blue ocean orbs. He wasn't fine at all. "You're not fine. None of us is. This - she motioned between the two of them - this is not _fine _Damon! Every thing's falling apart. You're anything but okay. We need to talk about this. I know you're hurt because of Stefan leaving. I know you're upset about Katherine leaving you behind too. Don't pretend otherwise, cause I can see right through you. You can't just bury it all, drowning it in some alcohol. You need to tell me. Just tell m..."

"Stop it!" His harsh tone startling her. "Just stop it Elena! Not tonight we're not. Maybe not tomorrow either. I definitely can't...won't do this tonight. I don't wanna talk cause there's nothing to talk about. Stefan's gone and he's not coming back. Katherine's gone too and I don't give a damn about her. Michael is gone also. And I ALSO give a shit. Well he's been our last option against Klaus and all but so what. I'll find another way to kill Klaus once and for all. But not now not here and not with you around. You wanna know what I am Elena? I am really pissed off at the moment! That's what I am Elena. I am really pissed off right now. So I'd rather wouldn't want to care-and-share because I don't want to say things or do things that I might regret later. You get that? I just want you to go." He poured himself another glass of Bourbon and took a short, big sip. "I need. You. To. Go!"

**Damon's POV**

For a moment there was nothing but stunned silence. Both just staring at each other. Then Elena straightened and a spark of pure determination crossed her bay-colored eyes. "I am not leaving!" She said. Crossing her arms above her chest to emphasize her declaration. "You're hurt and angry and well...pissed." He throw her a look but she just kept on talking. "I DO get that. And that's exactly why I can't leave you. Not like this. Not if you're all troubled and upset and maybe do something..." She searched for a word to finish but Damon went first. "Do what? Something stupid? Something reckless? Like what Elena? Oh no..don't bother getting any ideas sweetheart. Believe me I did my fare share on messing things up tonight. Big time." he took another swallow just to find the glass empty again.

"It's not your fault Damon! None of it is. You just said it yourself. We had it all planned out. But sometimes even that's not good enough. You of all people should know about that. So don't put this on you." "Why not Elena? I had Klaus! There he was right under my fingers. I had the stake in his chest. If I wouldn't have missed his heart, Stefan wouldn't have had the chance to interrupt in the first place. Who else is to blame but me? He's lost because of me. Because when I was bitten by that fury high-school douche I was too weak and pathetic to end myself. I let him stop me." He heard Elena gasp at his disclosure. He realized that until now Elena hadn't known about his first failure attempt on suicide. But he couldn't care less at this point and just kept on talking. " And then I let him save me, again. Of course he wouldn't ask permission. And instead of killing myself when I still could act on my behalf I let little bro take over the steering wheel. So he could just be boarded by a stinking whipjackass named Klaus." The glass that had been in Damon's hand shattered in thousand pieces against the opposite wall. He had gotten louder and angrier with every word. His dead heart beating wildly out of pure fury in his chest. He had ruined it all. He had failed. He had failed _her. ...I failed her. She's still not save because of me. I betrayed her trust. I betrayed Stefan's trust... _ "I failed his promise! I failed him." His voice just above a whisper as he realized the truth to his own words. Remembering that one night when Stefan had been trapped in the tomb with Katherine.

_[Flashback: "Promise me! No matter what happens...you'll protect her!" Stefan's said solemnly. "Promise!" Damon answered in earnest. His brother gave him a silent, understanding nod and then Damon turned around and left.] _

"Damon" Elena's voice was soft and soothing and...real close. _Damn.._ Damon almost flinched as he realized that Elena wasn't standing by the door any more. She had walked right up to him. _Sneaked really _he thought or how on earthdid she get this close_. So close..._ She looked right at him and he knew if he wouldn't do something right away he'd be lost. "Damon". ..._closer... _He ripped his gaze from her suddenly and started backing away. But Elena wouldn't have that. "Damon" She said again using her most soft voice and capturing his face in her hands. Forcing his gaze back at her. "Look at me!" She said her eyes strong, her lips firm. "This isn't your fault! Didn't you listen? We'll get through this. Together. None of this is on you. We did all we could. YOU did all there was to do. You saved us. Me. Again. You did not fail me or Stefan. Stop blaming yourself. That selfish, reckless person doesn't exist any more, Damon. You've changed. You're the good guy now remember?" She stroked his cheek lightly with her thumb and looked at him pleadingly. She wanted him to understand. She needed him to understand. She cracked a smile and he frowned not capable of responding to her words just yet. "Well the good guy with real bad behavior who still could use some manners, you know! But it's a working progress now is it?" She smiled some more and he couldn't help himself but return it. His anger starting to fade away. "We'll be fine...eventually. You just have to trust me, remember?"

**Elena's POV**

She stroke back a damp strand on his forehead and felt herself leaning in to him some more. She couldn't stop herself. They were like two magnets pulling each other in. The heat radiating from his almost dried body creating small tingles on her skin. Her gaze sliding to his lips and back to his eyes. Her lips suddenly feeling very dry. Slipping her tongue over her bottom lip she started taking a step back. But Damon's hands shooting around her. Grabbing her lower back and pulling her into him again. "Don't go!" His voice husky. "I didn't mean it. I..." He closed his eyes, pausing for a moment before continuing "I just don't know where to go from here. I have nothing left. No bright ideas no plan B no...nothing! But I do know, that I can trust you. And if you're willing to believe that we'll make it, then I will too. But as for now? I am very much tired and I really do need some rest. But I do not want you to go. It's not save for you out there. I really shouldn't have left you like that. I'm sorry." Elena's heart skipped a beat hearing him saying those words. "Will you stop being sorry already? Klaus won't come for me tonight I am sure. Maybe he's not dead but I'm very sure that he's gone for now. Celebrating or what ever. So stop worrying. And yeah it has been a long day. I am exhausted. And I already said that I'm not leaving you here so..." She stopped, looking around as if searching for something. "How about you'll take a hot shower and get ready for bed while I'm getting ready myself." Damon said.

She looked at him giving him a smile trying not to think too much about his hands still being around her lower half. "Right!" was her soft reply. He held on to her for just another second before slowly stepping back turning towards his wardrobe. Elena's heart rate slowly, very slowly returned to it's normal pace. _...Maybe I should make it a cold one after all..Very cold... _she thought, shaking her head slightly to clear out the fogginess Damon's nearness had caused. When she'd almost reached the door, ready to close it behind her she heard him say " Well you're always welcome to use my shower by the way. The water's still warm you know?" She didn't need to turn around to know that he was wearing his trademark smirk. "Good night, Damon!" She answered firmly but smiling over his cocky joke, closing the door behind her.

As she walked down the hall she heard him shout "Just saying..!"

With a soft smile on her lips she continued her way up to Stefan's room to get her things to change. After everything that happened she still had something to hold onto. She still had her brother and Bonnie and Caroline, Alaric and all her other friends who stood at her side, no matter what. And even so Stefan's loss had left this big, aching hole inside of her she didn't feel like loosing herself in it anymore. Because there was someone who was always pulling her out. Someone who had always been there and that she knew with absolute certainty would always be there for her.

_...Damon..._

And while she was taking her, not to hot, shower, she thought of everything. Everything that had let her here. Everything she'd done. Everything Stefan had done. All that Damon had done. And she couldn't quite figure where this would be going but since she had told Damon that they would make it through together she actually started to believe it. She had told him she would let his brother go. And she would. In fact ..._I already have..._

And as realization hit her hard, Elena slid down the shower wall, letting herself adjust to it all. "You're gone. And I'll have to let you go." She spoke to herself nothing but the warm spray to shut out the world around her. …_I am so sorry Stefan. So sorry. But I'll have to make it true..I'll have to let you go now..._ "Goodbye Stefan" she whispered into the sound of the water trickling around her. Her tears finally breaking through. Flowing freely down her cheeks mixing with the streamlets of the shower. And for the first time she let herself give in. Into feeling the sadness, the loss and the unbearable sorrow. Wrapping her arms around her, tugging her legs to her chest she led her head fall down on her knees and started sobbing.

And while the water slowly started to turn cold, Elena just let herself fall apart. Knowing she'd find her way back somehow. She'd never give up, just for now. Just tonight. Just for him.

**:D Well that's it again. i know it's short but I think it had to end here for now. So what do you think. Still liking it? What do you think will happen next? Please you're reviews are just making my days! Thank you so much again. Till next time ;) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright another chappy's up. I know it's another short one. But I just can't wait to bring 'em out and I'm also an admirer of the short since I think it always helps the tension. Still I'll try to make them longer. It just felt like a cut at the end again.**

** I really love you're reviews. Thank you all so much! So I hope you enjoy the new one even if it's just a quickie :P  
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**Hot and Cold  
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**Elena's POV:**

Finally, after what felt like hours, Elena managed to stop her crying. She felt exhausted. Sorrow had settled deep within her soul. Her heart aching and heavy in her chest. But now her sobs had subsided and she had no more tears left. Taking some deep breath she managed to push everything away again. Burying it somewhere deep in some dark corner of her mind and soul. Bracing herself for all the new horrors that'd be surely awaiting her again soon. Turning herself into the strong, stable and faithful girl everyone knew. Everyone expected her to be.

Slowly she forced herself upright again. The water had run cold by now and she was freezing. She turned off the spray and stepped out into the chilly bathroom. She toweled herself off and blow-dried her hair. She went through her stuff putting an a warm, rather large sweater she always been given by Jeremy when she'd been sick. Feeling very comfortable in it she'd hidden it between her usually more feminine nightgowns till one birthday Jeremy had given it to her completely. She also went for some warm pants, since she was still cold from the shower.

Once she was dressed she went up to Stefan's room. Just as she was about to reach the final step she stopped. Standing on the staircase with her left hand just above the door knob her breathing got heavy again. Tears she didn't think she'd left starting to form in her eyes again. _...Breathe! Just breathe!..._ She told herself. Closing her eyes she did just that and opened the door. The emptiness of the dimly lit room closing in on her instantly. The small lamp in the corner with its usual soft, warm glow just intensified the sharp outlines of the shadows. Elena stepped farther into the room, feeling herself being suffocated by the dark, cold place that had been her shelter once. ..._I can't stay in here anymore..._ she thought with a sudden strike of clarity. Slowly, she turned herself around beholding to everything closely. The big soft bed that she'd shared with Stefan for so many and yet not enough nights. She'd snuggled up against his chest. Feeling save and loved. His favorite books filled with lyric, poems and stories out of times when he'd been around to witness them. His guitar. His antique dark wooden desk with his diary. Where he'd sat, writing with an old fashioned, silver-quill, down his every thought. The candles that were evenly spread across the shelves and cupboards, smelling of vanilla, honey and other spices. A scent that mingled with the solid smell of the close-drawn curtains, the old leather bound books, the period furniture and something that she couldn't define. Something that was simply...him. The scents mixing together into one fragrance that would forever be connected to her memories of them. A scent that was their life...together.

With a last deep intake of breath she took it all within her. Closing her eyes and recalling every memory she had of _them_. The good and the bad. Exhaling slowly opening her eyes again she stepped over to his wardrobe taking out everything of her that was left. She also took a book from one of the shelves that he'd once given to her. And some jewelry she'd kept in the commode. Looking up she was met by a pair of green eyes. Looking affectionately up at her. Stefan wearing his football shirt, wrapping his arms around her. They both happy and smiling into the camera. She stroked her thumb over Stefan's framed face feeling the cool glass surface of the photo. A single tear sliding down her cheek. "Bye!" she whispered softly. And without another glance she turned off the lights and left. Leaving the pictures behind. Leaving their life behind. Leaving him.

She went down the stairs and got into the hall turning into one of the other bedrooms. Finding it a little awkward realizing she'd never been in here before. She turned on a small bedside lamp next to another large, so Salvatore-boarding-house-looking, bed. It had also big wooden bedposts and nice, soft cream colored sheets. She put her belongings into a dresser next to the door. After closing the big curtains she got under the blankets and switched of the light. After thirty minutes of tossing and turning, she finally fell into a light, fitful sleep.

**Damon's POV:**

"Damn it" Damon's voice sounding uneasy. It had been over two hours that he'd tried to find some sleep. But he was simply incapable in getting his mind of things. Everything was just repeating itself in his head. Creating a rather uneasy loophole that he couldn't seem to break.

He turned on his side again this time facing the door.

Even though it was nearly pitch black in his room after he'd drawn the curtains he could still see every pattern the wood created. He thought about going down to get himself another bottle of, well any alcohol he could get his hands on really, but decided against it. It wouldn't make any difference anyway. He'd been there. At some point, he knew, even alcohol had it's limits. Especially if you were a well trained admirer of the red just as himself. He did not want to waste anymore of his precious supply of old-established booze. He was just about to turn again when suddenly he found himself sitting up in bed straight. Wide awake he listened into the silence. Didn't he just hear something out of the ordinary background sounds that was the old house? He strained his vampire senses. There! It was like... ..._A whimper. Someone's crying...someone is..._ _BANG_ A loud rumble interrupting his thoughts. _...Elena... _it shot through his mind. He didn't hesitate. He wouldn't sit around and wait for reassurance. He'd get it himself. He quickly got out of bed and out of his room. He made his way up to Stefan's. Expecting her to sleep there as all the other nights. Considering it her room too by now. Then he heard it again. A soft little sob followed by some rattling noise that came from...his left? He lingered for a moment. Standing in the hallway like a cat waiting on it's prey to reveal itself. "...no..._please.._noo...mmmh.." another bumping. Damon had enough. Without further demur he stormed through the door on his left. What he saw caught him off guard. The sight before him nothing he'd expected. The sounds had been coming from Elena that was sure now. But she wasn't tossing and turning in the bed before him as he'd have expected. No. Elena wasn't in bed at all.

Elena was standing at the opposite side of the bed. Her back towards Damon. Her body was shaking and her hands were clawing at the planking in front of her. A mixture of incoherent sentences and whimpers coming from her. Damon stood in the door, frozen. But it only took him a few seconds to recover. With his supernatural speed he was behind her. Grabbing her fragile form and turning her body to him. "Elena!" he said firm but calm. She didn't react though. Damon had to bit back a gasp at the sight of her. Elena's face was contorted in pain. Her skin covered in sweat, her eyes pressed together tightly. Her lips quivering, forming some incomprehensible words. Her hair messy, sticking to her face in some parts. And she was cold. ..._Freezing, her body is like an ice cube..._ "Elena" this time he shouted. "Elena wake up, you're having a nightmare. You have to wake up now." He shook her lightly and took her chin in one of his hands holding her body with the other. Slowly, very slowly Elena's eyes started to flutter. Her eyes out of focus and her gaze glassy. "That's it girl, come on." Damon said, stroking a strand of hair off her cheek. "Damon?" her voice was raspy. Sounding nothing like her. Now he really got worried. "Yeah its me! You're okay now. I am here!" he told her softly, caressing her cheek with his thumb. "What hap..happened? What...where am...Bonnie?...Damon he's got Bonnie...a-and Caroline and...!" her words drowning in a sudden outburst of heavy sobs shaking her hole body. "Shhhh, 'Lena listen to me!" Damon stopped her forcing her chin up to look him in the eye. "Bonnie's fine. They all are. It was just a dream. None of it is real. You hear me? It was just a nightmare. They safe. You're safe!" ..._For now at least!..._ He couldn't stop himself thinking. Slowly Elena seemed to regain full consciousness, registering her surroundings. She looked at him, grabbing his forearms and holding on tight. Her legs seemed to give way beneath her and Damon didn't trust her balance. "Come on princess!" He said taking her in his arms bridal style, walking her to the bed. He sat her next to one of the posts so she could hold onto while he was pulling back the rumbled covers. But he stopped just as his hands touched the sheets. ..._Jeez they're clenched. Wet as someone had dropped a bucket on 'em... _He looked back at Elena's week form. He could see that she was still trembling all over. Trying to regain her composure by rubbing her own arms. He said next to her lifting her chin once more to turn her face to him. Looking more precisely at her now. Elena's gaze still glassy. ..._She's fully awake now, she __should be better now!... _He wondered. His right hand came up to touch her forehead. It was just then that he realized how hot she truly felt. "Elena you're burnin' up!" "I'm fine really! Just a bit cold and still shaken. Really Damon I'll be okay. It's just...it all felt so real a-and I couldn't..." She paused for a moment taking a deep, steady breath "I'm just exhausted thats all. I'm gonna go back to bed and I'll be fine." She tried to give him a reassuring smile and failed miserably. "Yeah, you're fine my ass" Damon answered harshly. "And there's just no way I'm gonna let you getting back under those clammy sheets. Drifting off into another shitty dream while you're in here all alone. What are you doing here anyway?" He suddenly asked looking at interrogatory. "I..I couldn't..I did not.." She struggled for words. Damon's eyes went soft. _...Did not want to be in my brothers room after he left for good. Oh Stefan what did you do. How's she gonna go through this all again... _he thought but said "I'll get it! No need to explain. It's fine. You don't have to get up there again if you don't want to. But as I said I am not leaving you here either. I'll make you a new cozy place where you can snuggle in, alright?" He told her looking at her with a soft yet firm expression that should tell her not to argue. She gave him another week smile "Damon. I am okay really...no need to get all.." "Get what? Overprotective. Yeah right you really should be used to that one. And I am not overprotective or worried either. In fact I couldn't care less about you're sleeping habits. But even though I am a smart-kicking-ass, strong as hell, old vamp, I do need my beauty sleep. And I won't get any if you're banging against the walls all night. Besides those plankings are really old and somewhat valuable...soo I'd rather like to keep you're fists away from them as far as possible!" He gave her a serious look. Elena just stared back at him. Her mouth opened a little. Her expression one of shock at those words. As he could see that she was ready snapping something not so lady-like right back at him, he gave her his best cocky grin he could manage. "Ahah don't say something you might regret later. I'm just being funny." His expression went serious again "You're the only person aside from my brother I truly, really do care about. Don't you no that by now?" He said solemnly, looking at her with a gentle brush of hurt in his voice. _...How could she not know, how could she ever doubt the only true feeling I have in me?..._ "I do! I am sorry Damon. Of course I know!" she replied as soft as a whisper biting her bottom lip. She looked up at him again and their eyes met. His stare getting more and more intense. His gaze drifting to her full lips and back to her eyes again. The air suddenly electrified and tense. None of them saying another word. No one wanted to break the tension the burning desire between them undeniable but still neither Elena nor Damon dared to make a move. _...Damn those lips...so full and begging to be kissed, these brown orbs holding my soul... _He leaned in a bit closer out of sheer instinct. ..._So close... _Pictures of Elena being lifted in the air and slammed against a wall. ..._Closer_... Strong hands roaming her body. _His _hands. …_Closer!... _Lips caressing every part of skin they could reach of her. _His _lips. Making her moan in lust and... _...alright focus man. Not helping!... _

"Good!" He suddenly said strangely chirpy, backing off and getting up. Facing the door he continued "I'll go and run a hot bath for you!" ..._And a VERY cold shower for me... _Turning around he looked at a rather baffled Elena. "But..." She looked at him inquiring. "How about getting you out of these clothes first?" He asked looking up at her grinning like a Cheshire cat, wiggling his eyebrows.

**Uhhh...tensions, tensions. Wonder how that'll end up? Well keep reading and ! very important reviewing and the muse will be fed and happy. Thank you guys you're amazing. XX**


	4. Chapter 4

**As always thank you so much for you're wonderful reviews you guys are amazing. This one really made me happy. I really like this chapter even though I had no intention on going where I went :). But just see for yourselves...enjoy!  
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**Lineup  
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**Elena's POV**

"How about getting you out of these clothes first?"

She couldn't help the little chuckle escaping her dry throat. It was an honest little laugh and somewhat relieving. They had been close ..._too close. We almost... _'Elena?' Damon's voice interrupting her thoughts. 'Hmm?' She looked at him with an unreadable expression. 'I said...' Damon obviously repeating what she didn't hear. '...there is a robe inside the closet and some towels too. I'll see you in my room when you're ready.' He turned around and left her sitting silent for a moment as his words finally sank in. 'What? Wait...What do you...' But he was already gone.'...mean by your room?' she finished her question in an annoyed sounding outtake of breath. ..._Here we go. Old Damon Salvatore is back in the game... _

She looked around the room realizing that it had only a shower. A big and nice one, of course but no tub. She wondered if there was any other possibility of getting into a hot bath that didn't involve walking into Damon's room half naked. She stripped out off her clammy nightgowns and wrapped herself in a big bathrobe that hung in the wardrobe just as Damon had said. She took one of the bigger towels and went to the full length mirror in one corner of the room. … _Mmmhh. Lovely. Half naked or not this is anything but desirable. _... She thought bitterly taking in her disheveled form. Her face pale with dry lips and her hair sticking up in every direction. Smoothing out her tousled strands, her thoughts drifted back to her dream. Her nightmare really. Thinking about it made her shiver again and she felt her pulse quicken.

_[Flashback: It was all but darkness that surrounded her. Not the faintest touch of light anywhere. She stumbled forward reaching out with her hands trying to make out anything of her surroundings. Then she saw something in the near distance. A small glimpse. As she got closer she could see that it there was a fire. It was in the center of a clearing. Suddenly she was surrounded by trees. She was in a forest. She got closer reaching the outline of the trees. Staring into the open space before her she recognized five burning circles on the ground around the main fireplace. A body laying in the middle of each circle. Elena looked at the closest one and recognized Caroline's form. 'Caroline!' she yelled running towards her unmoving friend. As she got to the fierily barrier the flames went higher and Elena stumbled backwards shielding her face with her arms. 'Tststs..Elena my love, you're not just late but you also not sticking to the plan.' Elena blinked a couple times to clear her vision from the bright spots she now was seeing after her close encounter with the flames. She stared at where the voice was coming from. 'Please be patient. I'll give you're little girlfriend the right attention when it is the time.' Klaus stepped closer offering Elena his right hand. Not taking it Elena got up staring straight back at him. 'Let her go! You got what you came for so let her go now.' She said defined. Klaus chuckle left goosebumps all over her body. 'Not quite my love. I still need you. And since you and you're vampire riff-raff are somewhat inseparable these days...well I decided to speed things up a bit. With that he turned around and walked to the next burning circle. 'Wakey wakey eggs and bakey.' He singsonged, clapping his hands next to the unmoving pile in the dirt. The person stirred and Elena let out a muffled cry. 'Jeremy!' She jumped forward but was caught midair and pushed backwards by some invisible force. She landed on the ground a few meters away. Her head was pounding and her back aching but she didn't care. She got up quickly and stepped forward again looking frantically for the source of what had just hit her. 'Na na...what did I tell you about hurting her? That's my duty!' Elena followed Klaus gaze and gasped. There, right in the middle, next to the big bonfire was Bonnie. Staring at her with an unreadable expression. 'What did you do to her? Let her go!' Elena commanded. 'Again with the harsh tone. Don't your parents teach you some manners these days?' He asked and shook his hair. 'Well enough of that. Since you've joined the party...let's begin, shall we?' And with that he walked passed Bonnie and into the circle behind her. He yanked it's trapped body up by the hair. It was Matt. His eyes wide in fear. Bonnie started chanting something that Elena didn't understand, the flames all around them grew strong and went higher. Klaus reached behind him and took out what looked like a silver dagger. Elena screamed 'No, NO' And spurted forward but it was too late. Klaus had cut Matt's throat with one swift move and let his dead body fell to the ground. He moved up to the next ring of fire. Alaric standing in it's middle now. Baffled and clearly confused by his surroundings. He didn't have time to adjust though as Klaus stabbed him directly in the heart without hesitation. He sank to the ground spilling blood. Elena ran to Bonnie shaking her, trying to make her stop. Trying to make her do anything but helping Klaus killing her loved ones, but Bonnie just kept on with her intonation. 'Bonnie...Bonnie please stop.' She hit her now using her fists. Nothing happened. She looked at Klaus again who now had turned back to Jeremy. Elena attacked him. Not caring about the flames or Klaus's dagger or anything else beside saving her brother. ' No...please..noo! She cried and started hitting him as well. Her tiny fists bumping into his rock hard chest. She was clawing know...but all Klaus did was laughing. Laughing and pushing the dagger into Jeremy's throat... -'Elena! Elena wake up, you're having a nightmare...]_

Elena shook herself. A dizzy spell hitting her hard as these memories came back to her. It had felt so real. ..._But it wasn't. Thank God it wasn't. Damon pulled me out. Even if it was only from a bad dream this time. He saved me...again...and I didn't thank him. Not once. All I did was yelling and judging whenever he did something wrong. I never thanked him or let him know how grateful I am for all the good things he has done. I always take it for granted when he's...there. And He#s always been there..._ She realized. Even after her last encounter with Klaus he had been there in the end. He had left with Katherine. Left her after their fight over his behaviour. ..._That stupid fight... _Even after everything she'd said to him, done to him. Forcing him into bringing Stefan back. Bringing his life at risk over and over again_. _And for what? So that she could have back her boyfriend. Did she really think that less of him? Could she really just replace him with Stefan? ..._No never..._ Not after everything he's done after who he became. ..._Always helping to keep the ones I care about save. Helping to keep ME save. …_ Elena stared at herself again. Her mind went back to their last big fight. It had been the moment Caroline had stopped him from killing her father. She had been furious of his outburst. She did not want the others to see him like that. He had accused her of trying to turn him into Stefan. He had been right. Later in a conversation with Caroline she had realized it. But not anymore. … _No not ever. I don't want him to be Stefan I don't want him to be anyone but himself. He needs to know. I told him once but I didn't tell him when he got a chance to realize it to respond to it. I said it when he was dying. He probably thinks it was out of pity...just like the kiss... _Absentmindedly she run her fingertips softly back and forth over her chapped lips. … _Does he really think that? ..._ She wondered. Did Damon really think that the kiss had been out of pity? That thought hadn't occurred to her before and she realized that she didn't like the thought of him thinking just that, one bit. Even though she knew she couldn't admit it to him, or could she? … _Alright then. From now on you're gonna change a bit yourself, hear me? …_ She thought staring into her own eyes with unwavering determination. … _You'll let him know. He deserves to know how good he is. How unique and beautiful in all his cocky, monstrous and self-confident vampiric glory he truly is. He deserves that much. After everything You ow him at least that … _

Her hair was a lot smoother now. She hadn't noticed combing through it over and over again while her mind had been busy. She took in a deep breath grabbing her tangled strands pulling them back into a loose bun. Taking another quick look at her form she decided that it would have to do and went out into the hallway. As she reached Damon's room she found the door left ajar. 'Damon?' She asked pushing the door further open. The sight before her made her gasp. Damon's room was glowing from the light of what seemed like a long dozen of candles. A soft, soothing scent lingering in the air. Steam wavering from around the corner forming surrealistic patterns, calling for her to come closer. Her steps became light and tentative. As she stepped into the open, dark tiled room that defined Damon's bathroom, another 'Oh...' escaped her stunned self. The bathtub was filled to the edge with steaming, hot water. It's surface covered with high amounts of white suds. The soothing smell getting stronger. ..._What is it?..._ She tried to sniff out the different flavors, closing her eyes and enjoying the feeling of it all. ..._What did I do? Why me? Why is he always taking care of me? Someone should do that for him. He just lost the only person he cared about, he just..No Elena not the ONLY person. He cares about you too. He loves you. Just like you l... _'Sorry, I didn't think you'll be here already' Elena quickly turned around looking at Damon. He had a tablet in his left hand. A big mug with hot, steaming liquid and a plate with dark, brown cookies next to it. 'Damon I -I ...you didn't have to do all this. A simple bath would've been just fine, I..!' 'Ah ah, Elena! No discussion. You need to relax, so this is what I'll do to help you with that. No big deal and no arguing about it. I leave this here and you take your time.' With that he walked right by her, putting the tablet on a small table with just the right size to reach it from out of the tub. 'Hot tea with honey and some chocolate cookies. You know the tea will help you relax since it's my personal recipe.' He gave her a wink, smiling impishly. 'And the cookies well you know what they say about chocolate making you feel better and all...thought you could need all the help you can get.' He put his hand in the water withdrawing it again, turning back to her. 'Yep, just about right I guess. Not enough to get your fragile human body burned but it should surely warm you up so...' He didn't get any further with his sentence because Elena had closed the small distance between them, throwing her arms around his neck, pulling him close. 'Thank you!' She whispered into his left shoulder hugging him, if possible, even tighter. He didn't know what to do, his arms just hanging at his sides. Unable to move, unable to breathe even if not necessary. 'Thank you for everything! Thank you for the things you did. For the things you do. For saving me a hundred times over, protecting me and the ones I love. Thank you for being the steady force, the one that's always been honest with me no matter the costs. Thank you for being...you!' With the last sentence she had pulled her head back to look him in the eye. 'Don't ever change! You here me? Don't ever listen to me if I say something like that ever again. I meant what I said. I like you now, just the way you are. Don't try to be someone else. Don't EVER be someone else but Damon. Promise me!' She commanded.

**Damon's POV**:

Don't EVER be someone else but Damon. Promise me!' She commanded.

Damon didn't dare to move. Her being this close he really had trouble thinking, not to mention saying something. Something meaningful for Christ sake. He couldn't. So he only nodded and his answer was hoarse and didn't quite sound like him. 'Promise!'

I am so sorry!' For the first time since her emotional-attack on him there was some response in his face. His look changed from absolute shock to total confusion. His forehead crumpled. His blue eyes wide and his lips slightly parted as if to say something, but Elena just continued 'I am sorry for what happened with Caroline's Dad. I realized I never apologized. I guess you were right I did want to turn you into him, then.' He knew who she meant by him instantly. His body tensed by the thought of his lost brother. 'But not really. Not now, not ever. You're not him and I know that I knew all along and I wouldn't want it any other way. You two might be brothers but you're not alike. And that is not a bad thing. I guess I've never said it out loud so I'll have to now. You two are different, yes. But not as in 'the good and the bad brother' No! But as in...as in' She bit her bottom lip, looking down at his chest trying to find the right words. 'Elena...' 'Hush you.' She looked up at him again. 'Please give me just a second.' She continued her agitated thoughts. 'Stefan's kind, tender, caring, he has a pure heart but...' 'Hcchhmm...hello still here.' Damon stepped back and out of her embrace looking at her with a slightly pained expression. 'Look I know where this is gonna go you don't have to adulate little bros annoying trades. I know 'em all. You're bath is r-' 'WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!' Elena's voice echoed through the room. It was dead silent for a second as Damon just stared at her unable to say or do anything.

His eyes wide of surprise first, then a small smile started in one corner of his mouth. Raising one eyebrow he took in Elena's form. Standing right in front of him all fiery and furious. Her hands balled into fists at her side. Her brown orbs burning with passionate fury. Like a wildcat just spotting a rival trying to get to her kittens. He liked her so much better like this. Not a glimpse of her earlier weakness showing. He knew she still had to be exhausted but right now she probably could do anything. _...Even staking Klaus... _His smile grew wider at the thought ..._He wouldn't stand a chance right about now... _Elena's now rather quiet voice caught back his attention. 'Please could you keep you're nosy remarks for once and just let me finish first?' She looked at him solemnly taking a step closer again. Taking his face between her hands just like she'd done earlier in the parlor. 'Stefan's all that...and more..' Damon rolled his eyes. 'But!' Elena continued imperturbable. 'He's also self-loathing, dejected, suffocating and unfaithful at times even before he turned off his humanity. He did lie to me...So did you and so did I. No one's perfect Damon not Stefan not you not me.' 'Elena you don't have to explain- ' This time Elena stomped her foot like a little child. Putting a finger on his lips to stop him once again. His eyes fluttered for a moment at the sensation of her finger on his lips. 'YOU on the other hand...you're a presumptuous, cocky, impulsive, saucy and at times reckless ass that...' Damon made a growling sound narrowing his eyes at her, but she met his gaze and tightened her firm grip on his jaw. '...is also the most passionate, deep, soulful, lion-hearted and most selfless person when it comes down to the people you love that I've ever seen." He just stared at her. Not sure if he'd heard her right. 'And I need you to know that. I need you to know that you're not second best or not good enough or worthless compared to your brother. You are just as good as him and you're just as bad as him and for that...' She took a deep breath biting her bottom lip again. Closing her eyes just for a brief second.

..._She won't...it can't be...it's just not happening... _Damon's thoughts were a mess. He didn't know what to think what to await. He was terrified about what she'd said, beyond happy about what she'd said. He didn't know what to do with himself, with her...What did she mean by all that. He knew she cared for him. He knew that much, she had told him at least twice. ..._Yeah..._ he thought, ... _forced it out of her. Both times_. ... Once by nearly dying and twice by making her say it in order to get on with his search for Stefan. But it still was real though wasn't it. ..._Come on you idiot didn't she just sugarcoated your hole existence you ...what was that..ah, right presumptuous ass? How dare you question her loyalty now. It's as if she'd almost that said. No that's never gonna happen and you know it. ['It's always gonna be Stefan']... _ 'For that...' Elena's voice cut through the silence and his thoughts.

'...I love you just as much, Damon Salvatore!'

**X) Uhoh what's coming now? Mmhh I can't wait to read what you guys think. I really didn't mean to go where it actually ended, but well the characters sort of wrote themselves I think ;). So please you know reviews are love people. XX**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay here I am again. I know rather fast this one. But it sort of came with the previous one and I needed to get it out on paper. So I hope you enjoyed it so far. Thanks to everyone who got this far, even without leaving nice comments ;) (just do it this time...:) )I just had to know for myself how Damon would react to Elena's confession. So I hope you'll like it as much as I do...:) enjoy!  
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**Running Fast, Thinking Slow  
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**Elena's POV:**

'...I love you just as much, Damon Salvatore!'

If Elena didn't know Damon was a vampire and as a result of that dead already, she could've sworn he would've died of a heart attack. His usually, cool expression was gone. His mouth slightly open. His eyes wide and his face pale. ..._No, more white-as-a-sheet_._ Oh my god! I did not just say what I said or did I?... _Elena asked herself surely her own features weren't as different as Damon's right now. Maybe he did not hear her? Maybe he had been too busy thinking about how she'd offended him before. She didn't want to tell him. Not yet. Not today, not know. This was the worst moment EVER to tell him ..._Wait are you just arguing with yourself that it's not the right time and not about the fact that you're in love with Damon Salvatore? Smug, biting...in more sense then one...obnoxious Damon Salvatore. Oh no..._

'Lion-hearted?' His voice caught her off guard. She did not expect him to say something. At all. Least of all this. 'What?' She asked confused, shaking her head slightly. 'Lion-hearted.' He repeated himself more emphatic. 'What the hell is that's supposed to mean? Like I am one of those Greek demigods. Strong and powerful on the outside but a real pussycat under the shell?' Elena blinked a couple times as she could not understand what he was referring to. 'What are you talking about? I never said that.' 'You said I am a lion-hearted person. Who says that, besides lurky, old hags reading bedtime story's or tall, blond history teachers teaching high school morons and homecoming queens!' He answered his voice getting louder. 'Oh and I am the presumptuous one he?' He continued his outburst. 'And what was that...oh right my favorite: Saucy! You know who's saucy Elena? Fastidious little teenage girls with blond hair and Barbie's to play with. I am a vampire Elena I ain't saucy I maybe...just _maybe_ brisk at times but...' 'Ha MAYBE! What do you mean by maybe? What about right now, Damon? You're so caught up in you're own twisted version of How-to-be-a-real-pain-in-the-ass that you don't even try to understand what I meant by all that. You're just to busy not showing the real you.' 'And who is that, Elena? Who's the real me, now you got me curious really!' Damon yelled back at her crossing his arms in front of him. 'Well he's not here right now, so _maybe_ I'll let you know when he gets back!' She spat out enraged. 'Well good luck with that, I heard his been to a bar near by, drinking. A soulful(l) bottle of whiskey, so he does not forget himself, doing something stupid.' And with that he left her. Slamming the door shut behind him.

**Damon's POV:**

_**-5 seconds later-**_

He was fuming as he left her.

_**-8 seconds later-**_

He was still furious as he got into his car leaving with screeching tires.

-_**10 seconds later-**_

..._Drive just drive...It'll clear you're head... '_Pfff_...soulful!.. deep!..._bah_.' ...it __**did**__ sound like a version of Stefan. An, if even possible, more cheesy version of Stefan. Lion-hearted..._uchh_...the Edward Cullen version of Stefan. Steward Cullen... _he chuckled grimly. 'Yeah right as if. I swear if I ever gonna sparkle in sunlight I'll stake myself.'

_**-30 seconds later-**_

He drove faster hitting the accelerator to it's breaking point.

_**-40 seconds later-**_

The dark street ahead of him finally managing to cool him down a bit.

_**-50 seconds later-**_

_[_'..._I love you just as much, Damon Salvatore!']_

And with that memory in mind Damon hit the brakes with supernatural force. Bringing the Chevy to a full stop. Gripping the steering wheel _hard _ to not been thrown through the windshield. Hitting his head though a strange sound indicating a broken nose.

_**-60 seconds later-**_

'Fuck! She. Did not. Just. Say. _That..._

_**-66 seconds later-**_

...or did she?'

**Elena's POV:**

'Run, Elena run!' A harsh voice yelled after her. And that's all she did. She did not know where to. All she knew was ..._Run Elena, run and don't look back … _And she didn't.

She sprinted down the hallway, flying down the staircase and out through the door of the boarding house. She spurted down the driveway and into the blackness of the forest ahead.

… _Where to?... _Her mind screamed. And that was a good question since the safest place she knew was the one she'd just left. She didn't understand what had happened. One moment she was standing furious and stunned, left alone by Damon after that huge fight over...well nonsense really. The next thing she knew was that she was scared out of her mind. Running from a menacing force, that had no name yet. ..._Klaus! It got to be. Oh god Damon...please come back. I can't outrun him for ever. ..._As if fate wanted to make a point she tripped over something, almost falling. But she caught her balance using a nearby branch as a hold. As she ran through the darkness of the trees,

brittle branches lashed at her face and body. Sharp stones and thorns were biting at her bare feet. She couldn't remember why she didn't have shoes on. But it didn't matter really, she had to keep going. Ignoring the sharp pains she continued her chase for safety.

Somewhere behind her she heard them closing in on her. She didn't really know who 'them' were but she knew they mustn't catch her. Her lungs were already burning and she got side aches.

Suddenly the ground under her gave way beneath her feet and she felt a sharp pain as she fell. Rolling and slithering roughly down a stony steep. Tumbling over sharp rocks and rough edges, ripping holes in clothes and body.

After what felt like an eternity she finally hit plane ground again. It took her a minute to regain consciousness. She had trouble getting up. Her head pounded and she felt something wet trickling down her left cheek. Touching it, it felt warm and sticky. It was blood, her blood. … _Okay don't panic. The fact you're able to feel pain is always a good thing right? It means you're not dead. Yet. … _A noise from above caught her attention and snapped her back into reality. Without further hesitation she made herself stand again. She started stumbling forward. Her legs shaking, unable to hold her bruised and exhausted body any longer. Her feet giving way beneath her and she found herself back on her knees again. _...Oh no you don't! Get up, you can do this. Damon kills you if you're giving up now. You can't leave him too. So get up …_ And with the thought of the only person who had managed to truly keep her safe over the past months. To be there for her, firm as a rock, she found the strength to push herself up again. Continuing her escape. Using trees and branches, everything in reach as foothold. Half stumbling, half running Elena fled further into an unknown future...

**Damon's POV:**

The boarding house was silent as he got back. He left the car keys on the cupboard in the corridor turning into the kitchen to get a wet towel. His little accident would've surely killed him, if he hadn't been lucky to be a fast healing, dead buddy. He wiped of the restof the blood that was left on his forehead and bridge, tossing the cloth in the sink afterwards. He entered the living room grabbing himself a tumbler and a bottle with some golden liquid. After he downed the hole contents of his glass in one gulp he felt better. Not perfect, but better. Standing in front of the fireplace holding a glass in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other he had himself a déjà-vu. Only a couple hours ago he had stood right here in exact the same spot only Elena had been with him. Telling him that they would survive whatever live brought on them. Telling him that she would let his brother go. Only minutes ago she had told him that she loved him. Him, Damon-him not Stefan-him. ..._Me. She's in love with **me**. Well she's in love with you **also**. That's what she said, you drunken fool... _'Drunk?' he asked out loud to no one in particular. 'Yeah drunk maybe, but soulful and lion-hearted!' He added with a smug smile, pouring himself another drink.

_[...I love you...Damon...]_A warm feeling started spreading through his entire body. Filling him, consuming him. Making him glow from the inside. And ..._Damn..._ he knew it wasn't the alcohol this time.

**Elena's POV:**

There were lights in front of her. Elena had reached the edge to a large clearing. As she got closer she could see that it were torches that illuminated the darkness around her. Stumbling further into the open she recognized the place. …_ This can't be! I couldn't possibly be come this far... _ As she took some wary steps further into the light she took in her surroundings. Even though she didn't understand how she had gotten here she unmistakably was standing in the middle of the cemetery. The torches enlightening the path she knew, led to her parents grave. All her senses were heightened as she followed the small trail with caution. It became more freezing with every wary step she took. The air turning to mist with every tremulous breathe coming from her burning lungs.

The path ended and she could make out her parents headstone in the near distance. Elena swallowed, her throat still aching from her sprint and the icy air she had to breathe.

Someone was standing in front of her parents grave. She backed away in fear. Not wanting to get close to this dark presence. Knowing it was the reason why she'd run in the first place. But somehow she couldn't make herself to stop. Like a puppet she felt herself being pulled closer.

She struggled against the unknown force, but it had no use. The shadow was moving now. Turning to reveal itself to the flickering lights of the flames surrounding them. 'What did I tell you about getting out late?' A hoarse, yet familiar voice said. Elena froze her body suddenly taking her commands again. She was trembling now and it wasn't from the cold. The shadow getting closer until the person became visible.

'Mom?'

'Elena! What are you doing here sweetie? And where are you're shoes. What did I tell you about getting out barefooted? You gonna catch a cold hon.' Miranda Gilbert smiled at her like Elena had remembered her to so many times. 'Oh god Mom, I missed you, I missed you so much!' Elena's eyes filled with tears as she stepped closer. Miranda Gilbert opened her arms and welcomed her daughter in a tight embrace. 'Shhhh shh, na na no need for tears my sweet little girl. No need for lying...' Elena brought up her head that she'd buried in her mothers shoulder, looking bewildered. 'What do you mean by lying?' 'Oh honey I taught you better than that. You know what you've done. Don't try to cover it up you know how you're father despises cowards.' Her mothers face became stern now. 'I don't understand. What are you talking about?' Elena asked confused and suddenly alarmed again.

'It's all your fault Elena. You are the reason for everything. Didn't you figure it out yet my stupid little pumpkin? You killed us, sweetie!' Her mother said with that honey toned voice that used to calm Elena whenever she was scared of something. But now it did the opposite. A nasty feeling of unease was settling in Elena's stomach. … _This is not my mother..._ realization dawning on Elena making her taking a step back. For the first time she really took in her mothers form. Her face was pale and had a sick, blueish shimmer to it. 'No! Why are you saying this?' 'Because you're a grown up now. You need to know the truth. You're doomed honey.'

'You're mother's right.' Another voice to her left made her head turn. 'Dad?' Elena's trembling voice strained. 'We should have never taken you in. Isobel made a mistake by keeping you and we followed that mistake.' Her dad standing next to her mother now. 'You were doomed the moment you were born. Oh my little angel I am so sorry that I didn't see it right away. Even though I knew about the demons lurking in the dark. I didn't see the evil seed growing within your soul. I shouldve just put you out of your misery then. I was a doctor after all. There surely would've been a way.' 'Dad? Please Dad stop.' Elena sobbed, she didn't understand why her parents said such things. She knew it couldn't be them. Though their words didn't hurt less.

'It's true you killed us pumpkin! If it weren't for you we never would've left the house that day. It's really all your fault.' Her parents now repeating themselves, closing in on her. Their voices seemed to echo from the gravestones around. Amplifying every word and there cruel meaning. Suddenly it wasn't just her parents anymore.

More and more people closing in on Elena. Shouting at her. She made out a couple more faces and it made her heart clench even more. Her aunt Jenna ' You lied to me. You got me killed.' Tyler's Dad and Mason '...You let them kill me. You helped them...' Bonnie's Grandmother ' ...I knew you were evil. You killed me and you killed her...' Ms Gibbon's the woman who'd been held captive by the tomb vampires. ' ...killed me...' A young girl she didn't remember the name but she surely remembered from the News, reporting her missing just after Klaus and Stefan had left. ' ...your fault...' More faces. Strangers, friends, family members, all looking just the way they died. Gashing throats, pale faces, shot wounds. There was blood everywhere. They pulled and pushed at her now. Blaming everything that had happened on her. She sunk to the ground, burying her face between her knees and pushing her hands down onto her ears to shut them out.

'It is not my fault, please stop.' …_ it's not. Don't listen to them. They are wrong... Aren't they?... _Her mind turning on her. She continued her loud sobs and pleadings. 'Stop it. Stop, just shut up. It's not my fault it's not. Stop it STOP!' As the echoes of her screams faded away she found herself alone. Sitting in the fetus position for what felt like hours, rocking herself back and forth she finally took her hands from her ears and listened. It had gone quiet. Too quiet. Elena slowly opened her eyes. They were all gone.

Slowly she made herself stand up. Her head was spinning now. Her temples aching from the pressure she'd used to cover her ears. She'd never felt so vulnerable and lost. 'Damon...' She whispered into the frightening darkness of the night. Her voice hoarse, tears blurring her vision. The torches were out. The moon abnormal large and bright now illuminating the graveyard in a blood-curdling way.

She slung her arms around herself to get a hold on her shaking form. She was freezing by now. The air was still cold and she was surrounded by a foggy haze, soaking her clothes and leaving her hair wet and clammy against her face. A sudden movement caught her attention. She stared into the thick, white waft of mist realizing that she was no longer alone. Three figures where closing in on her.

**Damon's POV:**

… _Damn..._

He swallowed down the last contents of the now empty bottle. Standing there, just staring into the slowly shrinking flames. ..._Alright Salvatore. You gotta get a hold on yourself. What do you do next? Every thing's depending on your next move. Don't blow it. You __**already **__blew it you fucking dumb-shit. Yelling at her like that? For nothing. Bickering like a little schoolgirl about some nonsense just because you were to scared to react on her...confession. Confession? Suggestion rather or simple out-of-her-mind-confusing-Elena-babbling. Yeah! That's gotta be it... _He snorted. Still unable to take Elena's words for real. It just couldn't be true. After everything they've been through. And why now. ..._'Cause you're always second best man. He's gone now so time for her to move on … _His inner voice reminded him. … _Great. No matter what I'll do, I'm screwed. First it was always Stefan. Then it was always Stefan again, another girl only, just looking like the old one and now it's "rebound Damon". Fuck you Elena! That's not gonna happen… _His eyes narrowed. How could he possibly act on this? She just told him that he was perfect just the way he was. That she adored him with all his bad brother glory. Despite everything he'd done, she still wanted him. ..._Loved_ him. But she had waited to long hadn't she? And what's with her timing? She just told him that they would give up on his brother. ..._Right little bro just left the stage and now I'm the backup. How delightful..._ As he could come up with nothing to help him facing Elena again, he decided to get some more logs for the fireplace. ..._Maybe chopping will get me some ideas... _Even if it was just wood, in his experience _chopping_ could help to get rid of a lot of problems.

**Elena's POV: **

...Three figures where closing in on her. ...

'Jeremy? Oh god thank you. You have no idea what...' Elena jolted forward as she recognized her brother as one of the figures. But just as she'd almost reached him she came to a halt. Noticing the grim face of her brother. 'Jer?'

'Hey sis. Damsel in distress again? What couldn't take the truth?' 'No Jeremy not you too. I can't stand this any longer.' And she really couldn't. She turned around and started running but was yanked back as someone gripped her hair and pulled hard. With a yelp Elena flew backwards, landing on her back. 'You choose a killer over your own brother. You let him kill me. Twice! Why should I care about anything you want?' Jeremy was leaning over her. His face a dark , menacing mask against the moon. 'Jeremy, that is not true. I love you.' Elena pleaded not knowing why her brother acted so strange.

'You do not love anyone but yourself.' Now Bonnie stepped into her vision, cutting off her pleas. 'I told you that they're dangerous to all of us but you didn't listen! I died too remember? I died because of you. _**For **_you. What a waste.'

'Me too. I died because you couldn't get over yourself. All you had to do was leave him. Katherine killed me because of _**you**_. You selfish little bitch.' Caroline's words were cold as ice as she joined her brother and the witch, hovering over her. Slicing into Elena's heart with her words. Elena forced herself back on her knees, sobbing and begging for her friends to stop their assault.

'Please listen to me, I didn't mean to hurt anybody. You kno-' Laughter shut her up. 'Of course how could sweet, innocent 'Lena mean to hurt anyone?' Caroline came kneeling in front of her lifting her chin with her perfect manicured fingers. 'You just wanted to have a little fun, right? You little whore!' Her grip got firm forcing her head higher. 'Playing and fooling around with everyone like you always did. Toying with men like they belong to you.' She spat the last words and slapped Elena hard, raking her fingernails across her left cheek, drawing blood. 'Always everyone's first choice our little darling Elena. But you're no darling. No angel's hiding under this pretty face. No! A siren. Calling, snatching, tearing at her clueless victims.' Bonnie closing in on her too. ' First it was pure, innocent Matt. Well you didn't manage to kill him so instead you let him suffer by taking away his sister. Then you took Stefan. Playing him like a fool making him fall for you and then...!' SLAP Another smack across her face. 'You drove him over the edge. He was already dead and yet you managed to kill him..again!' Bonnie gripped her hair and yanked Elena's head back, making her scream in pain. 'He wasn't even gone as you already jumped his brothers bones. You're just like her...' Caroline whispered into her ear.

… _No it's not true, don't let them do this. You're not her. They are all wrong_ ..._Really? Are they?..._ Another voice forming in her head. Her own inner demon that she'd tried to push in the darkest corners of her minds. But now it was getting stronger. Her inner doubts feeding on the cruel accusations her beloved ones shouted at her. ..._It's always been about you. Everything that happened __**did **__happen because of you... _She had known this all along. She just never had let herself thinking it that clearly. Because thoughts like that led down a dark path. And Elena wasn't the person to follow such ways. She wasn't the person to quit to give up. _...So don't start it now. It wont get you anywhere..._

'But Katherine kills people because she is a vampire. It's in her nature. What's her excuse?' Now Bonnie said with an questioning tone, just as if she would ask for someones favorite color. Elena snapped out of her thoughts, listening again to that surreal conversation of her friends and brother. 'Well she isn't a Gilbert!' Jeremy answered just as casually. 'You here me?' His face now twisted in anger. 'You don't have to worry about me. I am not even your brother.' 'Jeremy.' Elena's voice but a shocked whisper. SLAP. Caroline's hand left another burning print on her tear stained cheek. 'Shut up you dirty, little blood-slut..' 'You don't want to hurt anybody?' Bonnie asked with that new, unfamiliar voice of hers. 'Well in that case I'm sure we can help you out.' Suddenly Elena was yanked back on the ground. Her brother and Bonnie pulling at her arms and hair. Dragging her along. Elena screamed in agony and fear, kicking and trashing, anything to get them off of her. Caroline just walking along singing an old song that Elena knew out of her time when they had played in the sandbox.

I know a little pussy  
>Her coat is silver gray<br>She lives down in the meadow  
>Not very far away.<p>

Though she is a pussy  
>She'll never be a cat.<br>She is a pussy willow.  
>Now what do you think of that!<p>

'And where do slutty pussy willows grow best?' Caroline asked with a chirpy yet eerie voice. Before Elena heard the answer out of Caroline's mouth she heard the answer herself. The unmistakable sound of flowing water. The river. Elena's eyes widened in sheer panic now. Her kicking became more urgent but it had no affect at all. Her friends and brother were dragging her behind mercilessly, down the riverbank and into the water. Tearing at her hair, her head bumping over the rocks. 'Goodbye Elena, it's time for you to go.' Bonnie said smiling down at her before pushing her face under water. 'No, n-' the last of her sounds were drowned by the water streaming into her mouth. Elena kicked and wriggled, trying everything to get up again. But they were holding her down with an unbreakable force. Suddenly there was water everywhere. Her lungs were already burning and she desperately tried to find something to hold onto to pull herself up. But there was nothing only the icy stream of the river. Not even her traitorous friends holding her down. Only Elena alone in the cold, wet darkness. Just like the other fateful day her parents car went off the bridge. ..._And here I am at last. Where I belong. Where I should've been all along. I am sorry Damon. I am sorry, we never got a chance. If I come back, I'll give you one. In my next live you'll be my first choice. I promise..._. Darkness was closing in on her. Elena wasn't cold anymore, her lungs weren't burning anymore. All pain was gone. A soft smile forming on her face. ..._Peace at last_...

... And then there was a hand...

**Damon's POV:**

..._Alright that should do it for a while..._ Damon thought looking at the large stack of logs that would keep them warm for at least three winters if they'd lived in Alaska. And it had gotten him nowhere. He still didn't no what to do. The only thing he knew was the undeniable truth he'd once told her and made her forget.

_[Flashback: ...'I love you Elena. And it's because I love you that... I can't be selfish with you. And why you can't know this. I don't deserve you. But my brother does.' And with that he stepped even closer, brushing the softest of kisses on her forehead, lingering for a brief moment.. How much he wished to kiss her for real. Just once, just now. But he new he couldn't. As he stepped back again Elena's eyes just fluttered open, her gaze meeting his for only a second before dropping to his lips. ...Don't Elena. Please don't make this any harder for me as it is... He thought, ignoring the voice in him that screamed to just forget his new found moral fiber and to take her right here, right now, like he truly wanted. As **she** truly wanted. Even though she wouldn't admit it yet. But he whispered instead, with a voice that was anything but cool, smart Damon 'God I wish you didn't have to forget this.' Her eyes searching his again, a frown wrinkling her forehead. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Stroking her cheek with his thumb, wanting to look anywhere but her confused brown orbs, knowing they could stop him from going through with this. 'But you do!' His eyes suddenly back on hers. Holding her gaze, as a single tear rolled down his cheek. She then just stood there as he returned her necklace. Securing it softly around her neck. Stroking her cheek once more. 'I'll always protect you! I'll always be there for you...and him. Just...don't shut me out. That's all I wish for.' He then said, knowing he'd never hear her answer. And then he left. Speeding out of her room with supernatural power. Not stopping until he found himself at home in front of the fireplace with a big shot of his best whiskey in hands. Numbing out the throbbing pain in his chest that he knew would be there forever.]_

_...Nothing's changed man. You still don't deserve her. Even if she's blind to it. So you have to keep it together for her sake. She might be in love with you now, but that doesn't mean that she should. …_ With a grim look on his face he loaded some logs on his arms and went back inside. He truly was a sick son of a bitch. First he'd done everything to make her realize that she _did _feel something for him. And now that it had worked, finally, he wanted nothing more than to take it all back.

He wouldn't let her know what her confession did to him now. How his heart felt like it was melting in his chest whenever he remembered her words. How it would make him happy like he'd never been in his hole existence. Vampire or human, he'd never felt like this. Not even the little nagging feeling as he thought of Stefan could take that from him. Stefan was gone. It had been his choice, in the end at least and he would have to live with that decision.

He would treasure the knowledge of Elena's love for him. Hiding it somewhere deep inside. Allowing himself to feel it only when he was truly alone and in real bad shape. He deserved that much, didn't he?

But he wouldn't show her. ..._I mustn't... _She deserves better. She deserves a normal, happy, boring live. White picket fence, clingy husband, adopted puppy and all. And after Stefan was out of the picture he just had to get rid of that hybrid freak and his annoying clanship and she'd finally be having a chance. He couldn't ruin that for her. No he would show her that he wasn't one to fall in love with. ..._Kind of sadistic, don't you think! First she's not interested enough, now it's to much. Fuck you really are a psychopath... _He put a big piece of wood onto the nearly extinguished fire. ..._Wait a minute_...He thought to himself, standing up slowly..._Back to being an ass again? Well I remember it having its perks_... And with a smug smile on his face he rushed upstairs and into his room, where a surely _full _naked Elena would be sitting in _his _tub by now.

**Wow, what a rush** **I really love to hear what you're thinking. Remember pressing the blue button below is true love ;) Okay everybody have a nice weekend.**


	6. Author's note

Hey guys!

Sorry no update yet...

I still hope all of you had a good start into 2012...What I am talking about...of course we had an awesome start. Well at least my New Year started awesome...was the wrong date though... was the 5 of January I think ...not the 31. of December as usuall...strange...XD

They did it! Isn't it great and wonderful? Mmmhhh how could any fanfic top this right about no?

So here we go...I can't top it right now because I am in the middle of a huge! exam and it will (hopefully) be finished, successfully by the end of next week. And then I promise (scouts honor and all!) That I am all yours again and I will update ASAP. So hang in there folks for a little longer.

Thanks to all your wonderful reviews you are my inspiration.

Love u guys

XX

Phoenix


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